I used to have an uncle, my mom's brother, who died just a few months before my dad, five years ago. I really loved my uncle and miss him terribly. He was a good, Christian man.
While he was living, he and his wife divorced and she brainwashed their kids against him, 2 daughters that I was pretty close to growing up, I even lived with them for awhile, less than a year, but in that time, the girls used to call me their big sister.
I was totally devastated when they divorced, ESPECIALLY when they wouldn't return my phone calls pleading for them to call me. I cried so much, to think that they could just write me off like that.... I'd never done anything to hurt any of them, ever. They knew how much that hurt me, they just didn't care. It's like they did it deliberately.
They were teens when their parents split up, and they grew up. The older one moved to New York and still lives there.... the younger one lives locally, but we haven't seen her or her mom (who I was also very close to) in at least 20 years, except at the funeral of my uncle.
They were nice to me at the funeral, they RAN up to ME and hugged me like they were actually HAPPY to see me, they wanted me to sit next to them... we all cried and caught each other up on our lives. In fact, everyone was nice to everyone, which was a big surprise to me because of all the anger and resentment the family (my uncle's sisters) all had about not ever seeing the kids. But they were hugged and loved abundantly at the funeral of my uncle by our whole family. The girls (and even their mother) were told over and over again, that we wanted to see them more often, that we wanted a relationship with them, which they agreed to, with all kinds of promises of visiting, phone calls, etc..... until they went home.
Immediately, they refused all phone calls of the family, and have never spoken to or seen any of us again..... and AGAIN, my heart was hurt.
In time, my heart healed.... I realized that the girls were old enough to KNOW that we loved them but CHOSE to abandon us on their own. They made that decision themselves.
Fast forward 5 years to today.... last night the younger daughter passed away. My sister found out somehow. My ENTIRE family is crying... I just don't understand... they wanted (and still want) NOTHING to do with ANY of us, we've seen them once in 20 years.... they were ALL ALREADY dead to us, as far as I'm concerned.
Am I too cold?!?! Is my feeling too harsh!! I'm really NOT a cold hearted person, I love abundantly. And I really AM sorry she's gone, because she leaves behind a young teenage daughter (my uncle's granddaughter whom he was never allowed to see, either) who needs her, but as for me, I've cried enough for all of them. My life will be NO different. They're the ones missing out on FAMILY!!! I have no more feeling left.
One thing I WOULD have liked to have seen, though, is the reunion between her and her (earthly) father, because I DO believe that in Heaven, everyone forgives completely and is at total peace. I think that NOW she'll realize the love we had for her.