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This is Bob. I've mentioned him before on my AOL journal (many moons ago).
Bob, and his wife Linda, are an elderly couple that I look after. I used to work with Bob before he had a stroke just over a year ago.
We all went to dinner tonight. They take me out once in awhile as a 'Thank You' for helping them and because, although it's really hard for him to get around, Bob needs to get out sometimes to keep his spirits up.
Today, after dinner, I took Bob outside for a cigar as Linda paid the bill and hit the restroom. Bob told me that he doesn't want to live anymore. He was crying when he told me that. He said that everything's just too hard, now.... he's on a wheelchair, always. He'll be 79 on July 5th.
I know things are hard for him, and I guess I'd feel the same, but selfishness made me encourage him to not give up. I told him that there are many people who care for him, and that he should try to find things of interest to keep him occupied. It was lame, I know, but I didn't know HOW to encourage him.
He opened up again, to me more when we stopped at the grocery store and Linda went in to get a case of water. We talked about Jesus, and his beliefs. We talked about where he'd be going after he died. I'm comfortable in his beliefs, that if he died tonight, I'd KNOW that he's going to Heaven, and so is he (comfortable in that faith).
That was the most important thing to me... I don't want to lose Bob, but I understand... there isn't much left for him, here, anymore.
At dinner, he ordered chopped steak, and as I cut his steak for him, he said "I can't even eat Prime Rib anymore." (which he used to LOVE). So for his birthday, I'll cook a roast for him, he loves my roast, and I make it tender enough that he can enjoy it. It's all I know to do for him, anymore.
I'll buy him some large print books of interest to him, and maybe some imported beer, but what else can I do to make him comfortable... there isn't much.
I want to give him back his youth, I want him to walk again, I want him comfortable. But this is where I trust God to give Bob what he needs, and to take Bob home when He feels Bob is ready.
Please don't wait too long, though, God. I'll miss him terribly, but he's so tired, now.
Thanks for listening.
Joann