Sunday, June 28, 2009

My Friend, Bob!

This is Bob. I've mentioned him before on my AOL journal (many moons ago).

Bob, and his wife Linda, are an elderly couple that I look after. I used to work with Bob before he had a stroke just over a year ago.

We all went to dinner tonight. They take me out once in awhile as a 'Thank You' for helping them and because, although it's really hard for him to get around, Bob needs to get out sometimes to keep his spirits up.

Today, after dinner, I took Bob outside for a cigar as Linda paid the bill and hit the restroom. Bob told me that he doesn't want to live anymore. He was crying when he told me that. He said that everything's just too hard, now.... he's on a wheelchair, always. He'll be 79 on July 5th.

I know things are hard for him, and I guess I'd feel the same, but selfishness made me encourage him to not give up. I told him that there are many people who care for him, and that he should try to find things of interest to keep him occupied. It was lame, I know, but I didn't know HOW to encourage him.

He opened up again, to me more when we stopped at the grocery store and Linda went in to get a case of water. We talked about Jesus, and his beliefs. We talked about where he'd be going after he died. I'm comfortable in his beliefs, that if he died tonight, I'd KNOW that he's going to Heaven, and so is he (comfortable in that faith).

That was the most important thing to me... I don't want to lose Bob, but I understand... there isn't much left for him, here, anymore.

At dinner, he ordered chopped steak, and as I cut his steak for him, he said "I can't even eat Prime Rib anymore." (which he used to LOVE). So for his birthday, I'll cook a roast for him, he loves my roast, and I make it tender enough that he can enjoy it. It's all I know to do for him, anymore.

I'll buy him some large print books of interest to him, and maybe some imported beer, but what else can I do to make him comfortable... there isn't much.

I want to give him back his youth, I want him to walk again, I want him comfortable. But this is where I trust God to give Bob what he needs, and to take Bob home when He feels Bob is ready.

Please don't wait too long, though, God. I'll miss him terribly, but he's so tired, now.

Thanks for listening.



  1. Hi Joann! Your blog is very nice. The photographs are very beautiful. Wish you all the best. God is Great.

  2. Hi Joann,
    How sad. I think Bob is lucky to have you as a friend, and to have his faith. However difficult things are for him, I hope he was just having a rough night and that his outlook improves. Every minute of life is precious and I hope he's able to enjoy the time he has left.

  3. Bob sounds like a great friend (and you a great friend to him and his wife Joann). So glad that you are in his life to share time with him and that you had a talk with him so you know exactly where he will be spending eternity. The Lord will call him home at his perfect timing and will and the nice thing is you will see Bob again when he is in no pain and no suffering and you'll see him forever!!


  4. "BOB & LINDA ?" Now that's weird. Seriously my heart aches for this Bob. I remember when my dad had those same feelings. I pray that this Bob can find some joy in his life~joy that only comes from knowing the Lord. Bless your heart for being such a dear friend to him & his wife. Linda in WA

  5. I fully understand Bob's feelings and I understand yours as well. Bob & his wife are very fortunate to have you, lots of Bobs don't have anyone like you. ~Mary

  6. It's not uncommon for some elderly people to go through bouts of depression, especially when they've been through what your friend has had to deal with. If Bob has a regular doctor, it might be worth talking to him or her about this. Maybe there is some type of support group where he wouldn't feel so lonely. It sounds like you do what you can for him and you're a good friend, but you can't be with him all day. Just something to think about. Hugs, Beth

  7. A very beautiful entry. Bob is a lucky man. Think of how many oldsters have no one to care for them. I'm 70 with no one in my life, I wonder about it. May Bob live on or pass on gracefully. DB


  9. Bob is fortunate in having a friend like you. He's also fortunate to have lived so long and he probably knows that.

    Life does get tiring at times, but I'm sure your kind words and actions lifted his spirit.


  10. Aww.. I'm glad Bob has you to talk to. He may not feel comfortable about talking about these things to his wife; because more than likely it would upset her so much. I hope Bob has a great birthday--no doubt he will with a friend like you. Hugs - Julie


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